My baby boy is with his daddy today, my day off of work. I usually get him on my days off but his grandma is in town this week so we agreed for him to stay at their vacation home while they’re here.
Today I feel pretty discombobulated. I’m usually really good at keeping myself busy while he’s gone, but today I just could get focused. I sat down to write a post that turned into another post that turned into another post! So I put it on pause, dropped everything and ventured out to the beach.
I live in Florida and I RARELY go to the beach. I recently vowed to myself that whenever I feel lost, I will find my way to the beach to get grounded.
5 hours later, a float in the ocean, sun kissed skin (who am I kidding…I’m crispy fried) and a cold shower later…I am curled up in my favorite fuzzy blanket on the couch ready to write!
Since today was so hard for me, and it had everything to do with not having my son around, I decided to dedicate this post to 5 truths of single co-parenting. I would be lying if I told you it’s always butterflies and rainbows. The truth hurts! But as always, I’ll give you a positive boost later on. 🙂
1. Things just aren’t the same without them around
When it’s just you and the dog (or cat) around, it gets pretty stinkin’ lonely. There’s only so much adult TV you can watch before you get sad and revert to Paw Patrol or Bubble Guppies.
You avoid eating at the kitchen table because it’s too painful to look at the 3 other empty chairs. Car rides aren’t as fun without them singing or babbling about this and that and begging to stop at EVERY SINGLE store to get candy.
It just feels like something’s missing all the time. Even at work or the store.
We don’t even need them to be actively doing something with us to be happy. Even if they’re just in the house, we’re instantly happy and whole.
2. We try to stay distracted, but it doesn’t last
Distraction is key when it comes to co-parenting, especially in the beginning. We all have to find some hobby or task to keep ourselves occupied for the duration of our kiddos being away. For me it’s obviously blogging and updating my snapchat with my latest ridiculous acts!
Whether you are a fitness fanatic, foodie, crochet guru or WOW nerd, it doesn’t completely take the pain away from not having your babies with you. It’s just a temporary distraction from the reality of emptiness.
3. The fridge is empty until the day before they arrive
My fridge is currently filled with beer, water and leftover pizza. If you follow my Instagram, you know that I rarely cook meals. I just snack whenever I feel like it. The only time I will cook is when my son is in the house.
It’s something we do together while he’s here and it’s a blast! I’ll feel weird cooking when he’s not here.
The day prior to their arrival, it’s exciting to go shopping for all their favorite things. Juice, gummy snacks, popcorn, lollipops, gogurt, you name it! It’s the most exciting thing to put kid stuff in the cart and actually feel like a parent again!
4. The bed is so empty
Sleeping next to your child is the best feeling in the world. I don’t care what anyone says! My son can sleep in my bed with me for as long as he wants!!! (within reason….lol)
It’s the worst feeling when you lay down in bed, roll over to place your arm around your baby and then…..nothing. They aren’t there. They aren’t even under the same roof as you.
It’s an extremely surreal moment when that happens. If there’s any time you question the divorce (whether it was your choice or not) it’s at that very moment.
I have spent many nights with the blanket over my head and tears rolling down my eyes, just missing my Caleb. Even just typing about it is making me tear up….
AH! Keep it together Malissa.
5. Play time messes are the best
When it’s time for the exchange, sometimes I purposely don’t make Caleb clean up his toys. I actually like coming home to a floor full of race cars and Legos (minus when you step on one in the dark).
Having a house scattered with their play things actually makes us feel good, like we’re an active parent.
Sometimes I’ll take a mini monster truck with me to work and drive it around my desk. I feel a little crazy, but it’s the only thing that keeps me from bursting into tears in the middle of the work day.
It’s so incredibly tough to be without our little ones. And unless you have other single co-parenting friends, they just don’t understand. That’s why I’ve created a Co-Parenting Clan on Facebook. We co-parents deserve to have a close-knit community that we can all relate to, spread positive vibes and share advice!
Who wants to join me?? Click here to join in!