6 Shared Parenting Schedules For Low Conflict Co-Parents-If you and the other co-parent can come to an agreement of 50/50 sharing or the courts have dictated 50/50 custody, I have put together some options to consider for your shared parenting schedule.

6 Shared Parenting Schedules For Low Conflict Co-Parents

Finding the perfect shared parenting schedule that suits both parents’ desires can be tough. Especially if the divorce or separation was not a mutual decision. One parent may feel they “deserve” to have the children majority of the time because they didn’t play a part in the decision to crush the family dynamic.

I was the one that left my marriage. My Ex didn’t want to at all. It was the hardest decision in the world to make because I knew I wouldn’t see my son for days or weeks at a time.

I chose to protect my son from witnessing a marriage without love, affection and communication. I wanted to display to him that it’s okay to pursue what makes him happy and it’s okay to change what doesn’t.

In my situation, I felt guilty for crushing my family dynamic. I knew I had an obligation to ensure my son got to see BOTH of his parents as much as possible. Knowing that courts typically favor mothers, I made a promise to my son’s dad that his son would not be taken from him and we would share time with him 50/50.

Since he and I are both in the military, I decided to get out of the military to move to wherever he gets assigned to in the future so we can stay within a 40 mile radius.

Start Viewing The Other Parent As Your Child’s Father/Mother Rather Than Your Ex-Lover

Regardless of the fact that you may not have had a choice in the divorce, the reality is…you are no longer together. You now MUST learn to look at the other co-parent objectively as your child’s parent rather than an ex-lover.

If you would literally do anything for your kids to ensure their happiness, then co-parenting should be easy for you. Unfortunately, parents say that all the time, yet they still allow ego and unresolved feelings over the other parent get in the way of “literally doing anything for their kids to ensure their happiness.”

It is highly likely if not a guarantee that your child WILL have a negative childhood if they are constantly caught in between two parents that are out to get each other. So, think about it one more time, would you really do anything to ensure your child’s happiness…including swallowing your pride and putting the past behind you?

Here’s The Best Possible Shared Parenting Schedule For Your Child

If the answer is still yes, then you are on the right track to ensuring your child’s happiness! Now, let’s talk schedules. The best possible schedule you can set for your child is 50/50 (unless there are geographic constraints or the other parent poses danger to the child).

Even if you don’t want your child to be around the other co-parent that often because you are so broken and pissed, just remember; you have a completely different relationship with your ex compared to your child’s relationship.

Your child NEEDS the other parent, whether you like it or not. They need them for a well-rounded development and positive childhood. If you do everything in your power to make sure they don’t have that, you are doing them a disservice and they may resent you for it when they’re older.

Let them decide how they feel about the other parent. Let them determine if they are dishonest, untrustworthy, unreliable, incapable of love, a jerk, etc. Your job is to grant them the opportunity of having the best childhood as possible. That cannot happen if they always have an emptiness that only the other parent can fill. No amount of love from you can replace that emptiness that they will feel from not having the other parent around.

So, it’s in everyone’s best interest, especially your children to have a 50/50 schedule.

If you and the other co-parent can come to an agreement of 50/50 sharing or the courts have dictated 50/50 custody, I have put together some options to consider for your shared parenting schedule.

Also, make sure you download these schedules (projected 3 months out for 2017) to email to the other parent! That way, you can look at them together and come to an agreement. It will be a lot easier to convince them if they can see how it pans out.

6 Shared Parenting Schedules For Low Conflict Co-Parents-If you and the other co-parent can come to an agreement of 50/50 sharing or the courts have dictated 50/50 custody, I have put together some options to consider for your shared parenting schedule.

 

2-2-3

Here’s how it looks:

Here’s how it works:

Each parent gets the child for two days every week, then one parent gets the child for 3 days during the weekend. Then it flips. So each parent gets to see their kid every week and every other weekend. I think this is the most popular schedule for parents that live close to each other and have a decent co-parent relationship.

Pros:

  • Good for children that are not of school-age.
  • The longest either parent will ever go is 3 days; unless you dictate something else for the holidays.
  • If the child goes to daycare, the parents really never have to see each other unless they arrange for that.
  • Children get to see the other parent often.

Cons:

  • It’s hard to establish routines due to the child flip-flopping so often.

 

3-3-4-4

Here’s how it looks:

Here’s how it works:

This schedule is similar to 2-2-3 however, there’s more time in between. This schedule splits the week in half and leaves each parent with every other weekend. This schedule can be more beneficial to kids of school age or parents that live a little further away from each other.

Pros:

  • More time in between allows for routines to be established.
  • You can choose to do pick up’s at school on Tuesday and Friday afternoons if the parents don’t really want to see each other often.

Cons:

  • Too much movement during the school-week could cause friction in the child’s personal life.

 

2-2-5-5

Here’s how it looks:

Here’s how it works:

This schedule is similar to 3-3-4-4 however, there’s more time in between. It also splits the week in half and leaves each parent with every other weekend. This schedule can be more beneficial to kids of school age.

Pros:

  • More time in between allows for routines to be established.

Cons:

  • Too much movement during the school-week could cause friction in the child’s personal life.
  • The parents will have to see each other every Saturday for drop-off.
  • It may be hard to maintain routines in the 2-day stretch.

 

Alternating Week

Here’s how it looks:

Here’s how it works:

This is the easiest schedule to remember because it’s one full week at a time. This still allows for every other weekend and the pick-up is set for Friday’s (at school) so the parents don’t have to see each other.

Pros:

  • A full week in between allows for routines to be established.
  • It won’t disrupt the child’s school week.
  • You can track homework to be done throughout the week.
  • The schedule is easy for everyone to remember for sleepovers, activities and play dates.

Cons:

  • A full week in between may feel too long for the child or parent.

 

Alternating Week + Midweek Visit

Here’s how it looks:

Here’s how it works:

This still allows for every other weekend and the pick-up is set for Friday’s (at school). The other parent will come to visit mid-week for a couple hours to “show face” and reconnect with the child.

Pros:

  • It allows for the child/other parent to bond/catch up mid-week.
  • A full week in between allows for routines to be established.
  • It won’t disrupt the child’s school week.
  • You can track homework to be done throughout the week.
  • The schedule is easy for everyone to remember for sleepovers, activities and play dates.
  • The mid-week visit can be set for lunchtime at school if the parents don’t want to see each other.

Cons:

  • The parents have to coordinate a meet time/place which could cause friction.

 

 Alternating Week + Midweek Overnight

Here’s how it looks:

Here’s how it works:

This still allows for every other weekend and the pick-up is set for Friday’s (at school). The other parent will pick up the child after school (if the parents don’t want to see each other) or pick-up at the house. The child will stay one night, then go back with the original parent.

Pros:

  • It allows for the child/other parent to bond/catch up mid-week for a longer stretch of time.
  • The schedule is easy for everyone to remember for sleepovers, activities and play dates.
  • The mid-week visit can be set for lunchtime at school if the parents don’t want to see each other.
  • It allows for one parent to have “downtime” (clean, go out with friends, work out, catch up on TV shows, and have some alone time) mid-week.

Cons:

  • The parents may have to coordinate a meet time/place which could cause friction.
  • It could cause disruption in the child’s personal life (homework, friends, and routine).
  • Homework could get lost with all the movement.

 

These are just some of the many options out there. You have to make sure that it’s the best plan for your child. Because your child is the priority here, remember that. Shared parenting schedules should be agreed upon by BOTH parents if possible.

If you need to, put your pride aside, put the past aside and do what’s best for your child by giving them the chance to be around the other parent as much as possible regardless of your very personal and emotional feelings towards them. As long as they don’t pose a threat to your child, it’s your duty to ensure they have that opportunity to have well-rounded childhood.

6 Shared Parenting Schedules For Low Conflict Co-Parents-If you and the other co-parent can come to an agreement of 50/50 sharing or the courts have dictated 50/50 custody, I have put together some options to consider for your shared parenting schedule.

6 Shared Parenting Schedules For Low Conflict Co-Parents-If you and the other co-parent can come to an agreement of 50/50 sharing or the courts have dictated 50/50 custody, I have put together some options to consider for your shared parenting schedule.

3 thoughts on “6 Shared Parenting Schedules For Low Conflict Co-Parents

  1. When I was first seperated, we did 7 on, 7 off. After 6 weeks, that sucked! Even though my children were a half of a mile away and I would sometimes see them, I hated it. For the next 9 months we did 3-2-2 sun/wed/Fri exchanges. That was good and easy enough, but still something was off. I realised the neither their Dad nor I had any set nights to ourselves. I couldn’t even join a church group during the week or belong to my bunco group anymore due to never having the same night each week open. So we moved to 5-5-2-2 with a m/w/f switch and w switch. This has been the best schedule! I have 2 night’s a week to do what I want consistently and their father does also. We no longer have a Sunday switch which we had before and I love that too! Who gets them Friday after school has them monday monday morning. No exchange of school stuff! Just thought I would throw some other schedule pros and cons out there!

    1. That’s awesome!!! I’ll be adding this to the pro’s and con’s of those schedules 😊 I really appreciate your input! I’ll also be considering 5-5-2-2 in the future… 😏

      1. This is the arrangement my family had from 7 and 9 years old to college. Monday and Tuesday were with one parent, Wednesday and Thursday with the other, then alternating long weekends. This schedule helps with organization within the family but also outside the family. It’s easy for close friends, parents, teammates, etc to remember where a child is on a given day, especially since most activities fall on regular days. It can be a pro or a con that an activity comes to be associated with the parent that has that day- Scouts on Tuesday meant that Dad became the scout parent. Pro: allows specialization. Con: Some scout friends and parents didn’t understand that Mom was an equal parent because they only saw our son on Tuesdays.

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